Darling Dial-up/80s New Wave wisdom

I have always been conscious of the crutch that technology has become in most of our lives, however, I have recently found myself without my aid. My computer completely broke down on me, not the first time, but definitely for the last time. I decided I need to invest in a new one. I don’t even know why, to fuel this seemingly unhealthy addiction to feeling close to people by reading web sites and personal pages.

If nothing else, it is my jukebox that exudes constant lullabies as I drift off to sleep. Or pass out after drinking myself into a black out, it’s your pick, I just thought I would be honest and give you the pickings.

I’m using a back up computer that doesn’t want to recognize my wireless/high speed connection, so I’m stuck with Darling Dial-up…I call it that because using it has reminded me to be patient…if nothing else, it has reminded me that what I’m trying to waste my time on, probably isn’t that important and I can let it go…..see, dial-up does have it’s perks.

I shall digress….I just thought I would share the strange redemption of dial-up internet service which will soon be obsolete.

As per the 80s New Wave......

I can’t enjoy the silence, I’ve forgotten how. Silence has become a thing I can’t even remember. Between the thoughts whizzing through my mind, the things I wish had done -- then those I thought I probably shouldn’t have -- the happenings of the day and needing to wind down by playing music, there is no longer any room for silence. Noises are what lull you to sleep, so that is that.

To pull from another

I think eventually love does tear people apart. It is not a balanced equation, one person always feels more, does more, compromises more, _________ more, just is more than the other person.

Either it miraculously works out, or you end up being 80 thinking you’ve wasted your life with a person that stopped appreciating you in your late 30s and are just resentful. We are not of the generation where relationships, of any sort, really last, that is a thing of the past.

I’m sure there are romantics out there scoffing and thinking up things to dispute the latter point, but, there is nothing that can sway me to believe otherwise. There is no love that is undying…that is, unless the person you love dies…in which many hold on to the idea of what they had and don’t really get the chance to reach the point of separation.

Sure people are capable of loving one another wholly and completely, I just don’t believe that love is enough. Should it be? Ideally, of course, in fact, it should be the only thing that matters. But speaking from a sociological point of view here’s the brief breakdown of my train of thought.

In the 50s and 60s being with another person was a tumultuous affair. The family had to approve, they had to be of an acceptable breed, race, background, standing etc… Nowadays you could walk in with some random person and demand that your family accept him (or her, whichever is appropriate)….sure they might not ever do so, they might not even attempt to, but rebellion is an option. Back then it wasn’t as easy to do.

Thus, given so many options, wanting the best that we can get, the closest to our view of perfection, there is a natural inclination, no matter how small, to constantly be looking at our possibilities and our competition.

Hence, the resentment that many chicks feel when they see “skanky” women walking into an establishment. Don’t get me wrong, I’m right there with everyone else…but maybe it’s not because they are perpetuating the objectification of women…..maybe it's not because they look like “working girls,” but instead, because somewhere, within us all, we have a feeling that we are being threatened by their overbearing, and over calculated presence. This then leads into a negative view of said women (or men, whatever the case be) in an attempt to satiate the self-conscious part of our minds and project our inadequacies onto another.

Finally, feeling like you love someone makes you feel vulnerable, which usually leads to a need to rectify said discomfort. So we disassociate from those we “love” by reestablishing a sense of self, in which we reaffirm (to ourselves) that we are desirable, wanted and sought after; ironically self-sabotaging the current relationship in which one might be, or feel, loved.

I don’t know if people are as capable of loving as they were before. Maybe so, maybe not. Who knows, maybe people only “love” their family because they are obligated to by birth….I suppose no one can really say…I just think it’s an interesting concept to marinate on.

I have and I still don’t have any semblance of an idea of what I fully believe.

Just a thought. Just a thought.